Curhat

My Beloved ex-fiancé turned me down

The economical crisis can turn somebody into a different kind of person. People do everything in order to survive in this ‘wild-wild’ world, so does my ex-fiancé. She left me alone and has gone to Hongkong. In addition, she turned into a woman I have never known before. Somehow, she changed and it turned me down. I can obviously see the differences, who she was and who she is. She differs in looks, personality, and orientation towards life.

Looks distinguishes her from how she was and how she is. Before she went to Hongkong, she looks as elegant as a swan princess. She liked to wear a dress, a bandanna, and nice blue pins. In addition, she looked simple but has an inner beauty. She almost never used ‘make-up’ on her face, and beautiful smiles are always found on her pinky face. Those were why I loved her very much. In contrast, now she looks more glamorous. She likes to wear jeans, blinking earrings, and plenty of jewelry. She appears as a ‘mobile jewel shop’. I can tell after seeing her photograph. In addition, she looks whiter. She almost looks like a Chinese woman. Perhaps this is because she often gets a skin treatment there. Moreover, she looks sexier. After seeing her photograph, it seems to me that now she loves wearing short pants and short T-shirts. She appears to have more modern looks and forget about ‘Eastern norm’.

Besides looks, personality also differentiates her from how she was and how she is. Before she left me, she was a gentle girl. She never showed anger on her face although I often mocked at her. She spoke gently to me and even to everybody. Furthermore, she was a warm-hearted girl. She used to smile though people insulted her. She loved to accost people and gave friendly smiles to them though she never met them before. Moreover, she was a humble girl. Though she has a pretty face she got along with people indiscriminately. That is why people liked her, so did I. From the phone conversation I had with her lately I can tell that she has changed from a gentle, friendly, and humble girl.

In contrary, now she has a bad-temper. I have been wondering why she is so. She talked to me with the high tone of voice, which she has never done before. Furthermore, she is hostile and unfriendly. Every time I call her on the phone, her voice reflects an air of hostility. She keeps arguing and mocking at me, and she also doesn’t want to hear my explanation on what I have been through while I am waiting for her. It appears to me that she doesn’t care anymore about our relationship. Moreover, she is arrogant. From several phone talks I can infer that she gets above herself, about the fact that she can earn more money than I do, and that her ability to choose any man she wants with her plenty of money.

As an addition to looks and personality, orientation towards life also distinguishes her now and her in the past. Before getting money from her job in Hongkong, she had a bright and broad vision towards life. She kept telling me that money was not important and could not buy our happiness. Moreover, she told me that she was ready to live with me and be my wife no matter rain or shine. Her orientation towards life was like most of the women in the village. Life is not about wealth but it’s all about happiness, she said. On the other hand, now she has a narrow way of thinking or orientation towards life. She compares everything to penny values. For instance, she doesn’t want to call me by phone. She said it is just wasting of money for nothing, I meant nothing for her. In addition, she told me that now is the time for her to make her dream comes true. She thinks she can do everything with her money, buy everything she wants with her penny. Such a narrow way of thinking, isn’t it?

Regarding with her difference in looks, personality, and her orientation towards life, it is obvious that she has changed drastically. Somehow these changes turned me down. Instead of getting better, she goes worse. I wish she can realize and be aware that she has lost from her nature of girl I have known for years. In addition, I also wish that she can go back to me.